I Attract 3 Things

I attract 3 things:

1. Homeless people


2. Flying objects


3. Bees

Homeless People: I don't know what it is, but homeless people love me. To them, I am the garbage bin that contains the jackpot. It's like they automatically know that I am a sucker and will listen to whatever nonesense they have to tell me. Whether they are talking about the crackwhore that kicked 'em in the nutsack and stole their shoes or the true meaning of Cheese (Ch = chopped and Eese = chopped with ease), I listen and find their stories are well told and much more amusing than any law school lecture.

Flying Objects: It doesn't matter where I am, if there is something flying through the air it will most likely land on my head. I have been hit by a baseball, bird poop, an orange, a sandwich, a pigeon...you get the point. Weird thing is that I really don't care who has seen all of these embarrassing encounters between my head and objects. I just really hope that no one was aiming for my head. That would really suck.

Bees: People love to play the victim, BUT, I promise you that in no way am I trying to play the victim here. Bees are out to get me. They are part of the mafia and have a hit out on me. You think I am crazy? Well, then call me Anne Heche because this is TRUE. I have never been stung before and they know it or something. Within 6 months my apartment has had 3 beehives outside of it. Each beehive gets closer and closer to my room. If there is a bee outside, do you think it goes to a flower to pollinate it? NO. It tries to pollinate ME. Hence, I am left running in circles with my rolley backpack. So, Mr. Bee, I am onto you. Watch your step.