Umm, Yeah.

I would just like to let my readers know that one of the traffic sources to my blog is whoresex.com. I don't know who you are, but I am pretty sure you were disappointed when you clicked on this link and didn't see a bunch of whore sex. Also, I should probably stop using the word vagina in my blog so much. Probably.

Momism: Pickle Woes

There has been this stench wafting from our refrigerator for days. I cannot explain it. It's like garlic and onion, mixed with mustard. But this house of two is a professional microwaving household. That means anything that contains garlic or onions is most likely not in our presence because that would require cooking...which we don't do. So, we are left with, a simple process of elimination. Here is my mom's process of elimination:

LAUREN, GODDAMMIT! IT'S THE FUCKING PICKLES.Those fucking pickles. Get them out of the goddamn fridge.

My mom has some pent up aggression towards pickles. I blame childhood. She also has an affinity for the words fuck and goddamn.