Momism: I'll Haunt You

This is not a recent conversation. This conversation has taken place on numerous occasions, such as dinners, holidays, and birthdays. It started when I was seven, and thank GOD, I was mature enough to look at my nutso mom and tell her she's barking up the wrong tree. What is this mysterious conversation? Here you go:

Mindel: I don't want to be buried in the ground.


Me: Mom, that has nothing to do with my birthday.

Mindel: You are a year older, Lauren, and I am not getting any younger.

Me: Oooooookay?

Mindel: Well, I don't want to be buried in the ground.

Me: Don't start with me mom.

Mindel: You are the meanest daughter.

Me: Mom!

Mindel: I can't believe you...your own mother...you can't even give me one little thing.

Me: Mom, I have told you a million times. I AM NOT PUTTING YOU IN A SHED.

Mindel: But what if I wake up. Do you really want me to wake up in the dirt or a wall?!

Me: Are you serious right now? You are crazy. All these nutty superstitions have made you insane.

Mindel: Fine! You don't want to keep me in your garage, then I am just going to haunt you. Forever.

Me: You are the creepiest person.


I know that there are some very serious issues here, like a fear of death or the fact that my grandpa told my mom he would be hiding in the closet when he passes, so if she ever does anything bad he will catch her. But, honestly, WHO ASKS TO REMAIN IN YOUR GARAGE AS A PRECAUTION??? Gosh, I love her.