Blog Wars!!!

Whoever said "imitation is the most sincere form of flattery" was probably the asshole in the room that everyone secretly wants to pee on. Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery because I thought of that idea first and I deserve the credit. I don't care how amazing/funny/perfect you think I am. I understand that I am all of these things, which is why I don't want any competition. Just ruins the flava.

So what provoked this tirade? Well some chick went all single white female on me and stole the name of my blog. What the what?! Except genius pants called hers "Making It Awkard." Well guess what Making It Awkward? I'm a verb and you're a noun and verbs are action words, so my blog can make yours cry.

Me Blog Slapping "Making It Awkward." True story.

I Winona Ryder'd Your Story

This is a great story my cousin told me twice. I would also like to publicly warn Lifetime. Do not try to make a Lifetime original movie based on this story. Jessica, the clown, and I own all rights.

Jessica:

So, it was April Fool’s Day and the St. Stupid’s Day Parade was going on in the city. I was walking back to my office with my tacos. I got tacos for lunch. All of a sudden a stupid clown KICKED ME. THAT FUCKING CLOWN KICKED ME. I couldn’t believe it. I was so pissed. “You stupid fucking clown!” When I said that he ran a block away, looked back at me, and told me to go back to LA. What does that even mean?! “Fuck you clown!”

That clown almost made me drop my tacos. I would have been really pissed if I dropped my tacos.

The End

Moral of Jessica’s Story: Don’t make homegirl drop her tacos.