Happy Jew Year!

Being Jewish is awesome. Why? Well, I love playing into stereotypes.

Stereotype 1: Jew's are "penny pinchers."

I am not stingy. I enjoy the occasional heads-up penny, lying on the ground, begging for some action. BUT, when it comes to enjoying my money (loans) rather than saving my money (loans), I prefer going for broke. Fortunately, I can use my Jewstus (Status as a Jew, and yes, I will be creating numersous words out of Jew throughout this blog. Holla.) to get me out of any financial predicament I do not want to be in.

Friend: Lauren, let's go out to the bars tonight!
Me (need to do hw but don't want to sound nerdy): Oooooh. Sorry. I'm Jewish. I need to save my money.

Stereotype 2: Jew's could guilt trip a nun if they wanted to.

Okay, this is not a stereotype. Jew's are over-qualified guilt trippers. I feel guilty about 99% of the actions I have taken in life because of guilt tripping. Don't feel bad. My mom tells me she is proud of me and that she loves me everyday but what would a compliment be without a little guilt?

Mom: I am so proud of you, Lauren. You have accomplished so much.
Me: Thank you, mommy. I was in the library for 5 hours today. I am going to go out tonight with friends...
Mom: Lauren! Really? You have so much money in loans and you are going to go spend it on alcohol. I worked so hard to make sure you got a decent education...

See how she flipped that around? I was the one with the stressful day and now she's the one who is stressed. The worst part of this "gift" is that you are not born with it; you acquire the skill over time...probably from the relentless nagging of your mother. I do know one thing, though. Once I have this whole guilt tripping thing down, the judge doesn't have a chance in hell.

There are other stereotypes, but I am in the library and I am just imagining Mindel's opinion of blogging during working hours. She doesn't even need to be here to guilt trip. So, HAPPY JEW YEAR!