I Bring Class in a Ziploc Bag

Today, I have:

• gone to the gym and successfully avoided the farter;


• sat in three classes and took actual notes instead of spending the majority of my time on facebook, gchat, and E!Online (don't hate);


• successfuly chewed crunchy food in the library; and


• managed to make my cubicle look like someone with a horrible coke addiction was sitting at it (put your mind in the gutter because I wasn't referring to the coke polar bears like to advertise in their free time)

Like my self portrait? Tres chic. I know. I classed the shit out of that cubicle with my pearls, half-eaten grapefruit, and supposed drug bags. The cardigan practically makes me Jackie-O. Holla.

If this was in a Highlights magazine the goal would be to find all of the Ziploc bags. Sorry, Earth, for depleting your ozone one bag at a time...or in my case 12. I have tried using those Glade plastic containers and other earth friendly methods, such as stuffing all the food in my bra. It did not work. Glade is not rolley backpack friendly and the food bra left some major chest stains. I don't want the nickname Lactating Lauren, again.

I should have never gone to law school. I should be a crime scene investigator. I would always have a bag for the evidence AND it would be recycled because I would have already used it for my lunch. Take that Captain Planet.