Thursday, September 29, 2011

Grandma Say Whaaaaat: Wizard of Oz Complex

My grandma was a 5'8, buxom Polish woman with boobs that could throw punches. No, really. I used to love buckling her bra because it had like 40 buckles... it was massive, but so were her boobies. I digress. So, besides my G-ma's awesome boobs, she knew how to tell a great story and LOVED to get a great laugh. Grandma Hela (Oh, you can bet I will be making hella slang references with her name...sorry Grams) usually got her laughs at another persons expense and that was always the most entertaining part. Thus, every once in a while I will dedicate a post to my Grandma Hela. You're Welcome.

Hela was my after school babysitter/my version of summer camp. Who needed to play with kids that crap their pants and pick their nose when I could eat mashed potatoes all day long while watching Bonanza? Exactly. In addition to watching awesome '70's reruns, Hela and I would also watch old Shirley Temple movies, which initiated this conversation:

Me: Grandma, when did movies change to color?
Hela: Well, a long time ago, all movies could only be in black and white...
Me: I know, but what about the Wizard of Oz? That movie is both.
Hela: Well, that movie changed it all. See, the whole world used to be black and white, which is why movies were not in color.
Me: Really? (said with wide eye innocence)
Hela: Of course! Then, when they were making the Wizard of Oz, the Wizard didn't like the black and white anymore because it wasn't pretty so he gave the world color.
Me: Ohhhh, so that's why all the old pictures of you and mommy are in black and white.
Hela: Yep.

That's the Wizard giving the the world color.
Now, if you know me, I am sure this story explains a lot about me. I didn't learn the truth until I was 7yrs old, when my mom started laughing at me and then got a worried look in her eyes. However, this really explains why my teachers, at the very religious school I attended, did not like me:

Religious Teachers: God made the world.
Me: Yes, but the Wizard gave it color!

Thanks for building character, Grandma.

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