For the second time - YES, SECOND TIME - in a month, I have heard someone add ".com" to the end of their sentence. Two examples of this absolutely ridiculous expression are:Real Life Scenario #1:
Me, talking to my friends in the middle of the "make me sweat like a fat man" crowded bar, look'n fly in my nautical slut dress (I passed on the onesie, Danielle). My delicate frame was suddenly pushed like a wimpy schoolboy by some drunken, stumbling foolio. Yes. I did just say "foolio." Deal with it.
Douchey looking guy in the bar w/ even douchier smurf hair decides to come to my rescue with his quick wit. And I quote, "That was rude .com."
I don't know why but this kinda made me want to make-out with him and punch him at the same time. Completely normal.
Real Life Scenario #2:
Me: trying to get around all of the "ooooooh, I am so environmentally friendly and hip because I shop at Trader Joe's" people, so I can get to the cheese section of the market.
Dumb couple: blocking my cheese selection because they are trying to decide whether the Laughing Cow swiss cheese wedges will be good.
First issue with this situation is WHO THE HECK HASN'T TRIED LAUGHING COW CHEESE WEDGES YET? I mean, really?! Where have you been for the last seven years? Obviously in hell because that is the only place that would not have these cheese wedges. Warsaw too, but that might as well be hell. Second issue with this situation is why the heck are you debating whether or not you should buy cheese? There is no debate when it comes to cheese. It doesn't matter why type it is. Stop dilly-dallying and buy it!
Where was I going with this? Oh, yes, I almost forgot due to the abundance of problems with this 15 minutes of my life. So, a third person (blocking my way to the cheese!) walks up to the couple to help them come to their senses.
Third Butthole Blocking My Cheese: OMG. You should totally buy those. They are the bomb.com
No. I did not want to make-out with this person. I really just wanted to punch her. Right in the baby-maker.
Moral of the story: Don't block my cheese. Oh. And if you add .com to the end of your sentence, everything evil in the world will happen to you.
Umm... I've not yet heard of this phenomenon. It's right up there with "hella" and "O.M.G.".
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This is what our society has come down to. WTF.com. (oh god, I just threw up a little in my mouth. What a person will do for the sake of comedy.)
Jamie. We need to think of something cool to say. Like our own little urban dictionary nerd alert. Then we can track it.
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