Playa's Gonna Play, J-Dater's Gonna Hate

Mindel has left the wild and created a J-Date account. J-Date is the Jew version of Match.com, for you goys out there who are unfamiliar. That's right. After 24 years of being single (with a whole lot of young shmucky boyfriends in between), mamacita is ready to find some Jew love.

Basically, Mindel pays a monthly membership fee and I get stuck searching for potential booty candidates...ahem...I mean boyfriends. Gross. Why? Well, she still hasn't figured out this whole internet fad and adds ".com" to every term she searches on Google. So, I have to reply to the e-mails, review the profiles, and find someone who doesn't look like Charles Manson. Move over Patti Stanger, a new matchmaking bitch is in town. Don't make me snap my fingers in a J formation.

After a lot of filtering, my mom (I) exchanged numbers with a little hottiepotottie. Here is how their first and last conversation went:

Jew Man: Hi.
Mindel: Hi.
Jew Man: So, if I can't see you for a couple of days, would you have phone sex with me?
Mindel: Are you fucking kidding me?

Fine. There was some more conversation in between all of that, but, I mean, that's the only part that really matters. Of course, I get the angry phone call from mom, "Who the hell are you setting me up with?!" Ummm, we'll gettem next time slugger?

P.S. I know you are so stoked that Mindel joined J-Date because now you get to hear about all of her hot messes.