Target. The housewife's dream and the Jewish girl's nightmare. I go to Target. All I need is some toiletpaper, Clorox, and Clean and Clear for that nasty pimple I call my face. What happens? Somehow, I exit the store with swizzle straws and a Snuggie made for dogs. Shopaholic say what? MY DOG WON'T EVEN FIT THAT DAMN SNUGGIE. Basically, I enter Target and my Jewish emotions are thrown into a Tornado of inexpensive necessities. Typical situation:
Me: La-dee-da-dee-da! I need toiletpaper. Doo-do-doo.
Target: Ooooooooooh! Why bonjour Mademoiselle. Have you seen my wonderful deal on Gerber's baby food?
Me: No. No. No. You can't get me this time, Target. I don't have a baby, nor do I know anyone who has a baby. So, HA! Jokes on you.
Target: But it is on special. Two for $1. You might see a baby tomorrow and want to give it food.
Me: DAMN YOU TARGET. DAMN YOU.
So, there I am with 10 jars of unneeded and unwanted baby food. Why you gotta be dat way, Target? There was a very specific plan to buy three things and spend at most $25. Eight bags and $104 later, my wallet's exlax has struck again.
Does Target rape your emotions and wallet too? Please start singing the Michael Jackson song and tell me I am not alone and you are here with me.
This is like the need to spend $50 dollars on games to get tickets to buy 50 cents worth of prizes. Holler.
ReplyDeleteBut those prizes are so wonderful. So, so wonderful.
ReplyDelete