Why You Gotta Be Sittin In Front of Me, Yo?

Last night was date night. Since I lack a boyfriend and my imaginary one is the worst conversationist ever (always playing the silent card...whattup wit dat?), it meant Rachel and I do something that she finds only mildly annoying. Thus, we ventured to the AMC to see Get Him to the Greek. Russell Brand's bendy chicken legs in tight pants. Yes, please?

First, we headed to the AMC in Fashion Valley. Rachel prefers this theater to the one in Mission Valley. Oh. In case you are confused. Rachel is my BFF/Roommate. She pretty much hates everything. Babies, young adults, animals, people in general, crowds, the sun, flowers, etc. She does like cheese. Maybe that's why we get along so well? Who knows. Shrug. Anywho, we went to the FV AMC because Rachel was already sacrificing part of her sanity by sitting in a crowded theater, so it might as well be one she kinda likes. We arrive 30 minutes early. Lo and behold, SOLD OUT. "Ugggggggghhhhhhh, of course." Oh. Also, Rachel doesn't express emotions in a yell. It is usually monotone. So, "I love you" may sound like "I want to rub a dirty diaper all over your face."

We hop back in Lurch (formerly Lil Weezy) and head to Mission Valley. Theater is empty. SCORE. We pick the best seats in the house and Rachel looks only mildly annoyed. +1 for life. People begin to filter in, but in no way, shape or form is the theater even near crowded, nor will it become crowded. Then. There they were. The typical San Diego couple. Little 105lb blonde girl with glowing orange skin from her spray tan addiction. Like an Oompa Loompa, but cuter. And her Boyfriend. Wearing his sexy Ed Hardy shirt that makes me want to pinch his nipples and then kick him.

They start assessing their seating options. Look right in my direction. Bam. They decide to sit in the two seats RIGHT IN FRONT of me and Rachel. Ummm. Excuse me Douchey McDoucherson and your Glowstick girlfriend. Why do you find it necessary to sit in the seat that is the foot rest for my Hobbit feet? Was there really no other seat in this EMPTY theater that appealed to you? I know my feet emit some hella-amazing pheramones BUT honestly! Furthermore, when they sat down, it was with such gusto. Like, they had to slam their bodies into the chair so gold would come flying out of their butthole. Rude.

Most annoyting part: THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS!!! People need to get some theater etiquette. Maybe instead of playing those lame commercials that make the Army look like a trip to Disneyland, the can teach the theater morons to not sit directly in front of someone in an empty theater. Word.