...you fart in the gym. I really want to know, and I mean REALLY REALLY WANT TO KNOW, why people think that it is socially acceptable to fart in public places. Excuse me Mr. "It's a natural occurrence and everybody does it!" Unless your butt is farting vanilla scented air, I really do not want to be trapped on the treadmill next to you while you toot so many "Silent but Deadlies" that the army is trying to recruit you.
It is one thing to be walking outside, in the open, with fresh air surrounding you, and let one loose. See, the difference here is that you are polluting FRESH air, which will eventually give your stale butt-air a big hug and then eat it for dinner. Thus, leaving my nostrils as happy as a Billy Ray Cyrus mullet. It is a whole different ballgame when you decide to release your toxic fumes in an enclosed area. Let me explain. When you fart inside, you are adding stale air to stale air.
Stale air + stale air = a butt load (or a butt empty) of stale air
This leaves my face looking like a pug because it is all scrunched up from the noxious fume (yes, noxious, because you are depleting the ozone layer one fart at a time) surrounding me. I can try to escape by switching treadmills. Oh. But wait. There's the raw egg in a baby diaper smell again. It has spread faster than the mustache trend.
So, PLEASE REMEMBER, it is NOT a natural occurrence and everybody does NOT do it.
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