Tramp Your Stamp

I have learned quite a few lessons today:

1. It's probably best not to take advantage of the 3-hour open bar at you LAW prom. There will be professors, you will make a fool of yourself, and you will yell out "Professor Glen Smith, where are you?! I love you."

2. If a guy, you are not interested in, tries to make out with you and starts shoving his tongue all over your face, it is better to push him off of you, rather than just stand there in shock, grimace on face, mouth closed and tight lipped. My poor make-up. I mean...um...that poor girl's make-up.

3. Don't fall asleep on your wrist. You might wake up with a black butterfly on your cheek, cry and start cursing yourself for not remembering why you got a tattoo on your cheek. Then realize that it's the stamp on your wrist that you got for your law prom's open bar. Sorry for that panicked morning phone call, Mom.

4. NEVER, and I mean NEVER, drink anything named after a suicide pilot. Nothing pleasant can come from it. Screw you Kamikaze.

5. Last, I would be the worst bulimic chick ever. It might have been the questionable 3 course meal or lesson #4, but I felt absolutely horrendous this morning. I have not vomited since 2006 (screw you Taco Bell). I spent one hour trying to induce vomiting. NO CIGAR. I called mom, asked the internet, and nothing worked. Hence, I have come to the conclusion that the best way to kill me is by orally poisoning me because I will not be able to regurgitate it fast enough. Good story, huh?