When My Appetite Kills

I eat things I really should not eat. Stop thinking of cavities and fat kids because I am not talking about candy. I am referring to those questionable items in the back of your fridge; the ones you cannot determine, for the life of you, whether it is a bunch of raisins stuck together or that strawberry that got lost from the pack. I did put it in my mouth and it was a strawberry. Shiver.

To the point. I was craving rice cakes...wtf already right? So, I was craving rice cakes. I had some in my cabinet that just happened to roll next to my laundry detergent and Bounce dryer sheets. Thought nothing of it. I take one bite. "Hmmm, this is odd. Why does this taste like spring?" Of course, being as curious as a cat, I just had to take another bite. "This tastes horrible...I wonder if my detergent spilled on this?" Yes, I did finish the rice cake.

Well, guess what Lauren? CURIOSITY KILLED THE FUCKING CAT. Go away horrible stomach pain and go bother a fat middle aged man! The whole point of this post is that if I begin foaming at the mouth and lapse into a detergent coma, please let the doctor know what happened.