April Suck It Fool

Why I hate today:

2005

Doctor Ovary Face: Well, looks like you have crabs.
Me: WHAT?! I thought you have to have sex to get that...my mom's going to kill me.
Doctor Ovary Face: April Fools!
Me: I hate your dirty doctor face.

1989

Grandma: Michael Jackson is a woman.
Me: Really? I thought so.
Grandma: Yep.
(two years later)
Grandma: April fools!

Definitely explains why I had friend instead of friends.

2008

Boss: We need you to come in at 5am tomorrow?
Me: April Fools!
Boss: Huh?
Me: April fools?!
Boss: No.

This holiday sucks a fatty because I will believe anything you tell me and will get beyond excited about it. But, I like to think of this as an endearing quality because it just shows how much faith I have in people. Right? Right? JUST GO WITH IT.