Usually, technology sends me through a hellish torpedo of stupidity and insulting images of Sarah Chalke (she just really pisses me off), but there are moments when I turn into a seventh grader going through puberty and wanna scam on technology like it was Taylor Hanson serenading me with Mmm-Bop. What? That's a solid fantasy, yo.
The divine recognition of my bordering on creepy appreciation for all that is associated with the future came from something I would fall in love with if I were that person who loves inanimate objects (tried to find the psychological term but I couldn't, so now I am the girl who has "people who fall in love with inanimate object" in my search bank): my recognition came from a Red Box. Red Box is technology at its best i.e. it serves cheap lazy people like me.
How the Red Box humping goes down: It's a bright and beautiful day in sunny San Diego. Perfect day for a walk in the park or swim in the ocean. F-that punks. Skin cancer and shark bites are for broke ass hoes, I stay in bed to watch my 10 inch TV and collect cookie crumbs in my cleavage like a real woman. No honestly, if I were murdered in my bed during the weekend (knock on wood) the po po's wouldn't need tape because my body would be outlined by food crumbs. Back off my nuts Jake Gyllenhaal, I know you want my sexay bodday. I digress. As soon as I get tired of watching the 11 channels available, I decide to turn to a movie.
Due to my psychopathic need to have a five foot no entry circle around me and remain in the same food stained clothing (and I use that term lightly), Blockbuster is just out of the question. Dun da dun dun! RED BOX i.e. the reason unicorns fart rainbows. All I have to do is go to one of the 65 Seven-Eleven's in my neighborhood and pay $1(!) for a beautiful machine to poop a movie. Also, then I can go into Seven and buy a gargantuan coke, WHICH, by the way, comes with a free sausage biscuit. Don't eat it. There is a chance you might prematurely lose an internal organ.
Wow. I can't believe I wrote this much about Red Box. I need to get my life together.
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