Oh. You know. The usual. I got all crunk and stuff with ma ladies, Cindy and Samantha. We traded in our Cabbage Patch dolls for some pre-teen fun that would make Miley Cyrus jealous.
Really?
Uh, duh. First stop, yogurt land in my mini dress. The yogurt guy was all like “what flava you want?” and I was all like “Pffft. I want three. It’s self serve, donkey. Don’t act like you haven’t seen me here 5 times in the past 3 days.” Then he was all like “whoa.” Then I was like “Don’t mess with me on a Friday night fool.” Then I walked to the yogurt machine with a little Jive. Riveting material here.
Once I filled my cup with yogurt, I moseyed on over to the toppings bar. I stared yogurt man right in the eye and loaded my cup with GRANOLA. He was like “you can’t have all those toppings.” Then I was all like “SAY HELLO TO MY LACTOSE FRIEND!” and I threw the cup of yogurt in his face.
Okay. That didn’t happen at all. I paid for my yogurt and then inhaled it. I just like to pretend I have these awesome conversations with the yogurt man because I am in there so often that I am able to read his judgmental face that says “Why you eatin so much yogurt?” Well, because, IT HAS BACTERIA THAT IS REALLY GOOD FOR MY LADY PARTS... also, I love the new chocolate coconut mint flavor. It tastes like a Mounds Bar.
After Cindy and Samantha finished telling me the story about shaving their friends neck (neck hair + yogurt = best topping ever) we decided to turn our G-rated fun up a notch. Oh, be ready for this. We went to a bar. Where they serve alcohol. And have customers older than 9. Back-off Disney evening, we are going straight to ABC Family.
Waitress: What can I get you ladies?
Samantha: Do you guys have water?
Waitress: Um. Yeah...
Me: Ooooooh! I am so thirsty. Can we get three waters?
Waitress: (really annoyed) would you like anything else?
Cindy: STEAK FRIES?!
Samantha, Cindy, and I: YEAH! STEAK FRIES!
Waitress: Ugh. I'll be back with your water and fries.
Oh. I can tell you're worried. Please, don't be. We asked for the ketchup and vinegar when the waitress brought us our fries and waters. Phew! I know you're relieved.
You and I both know that it didn't end with the steak fries, miss.
ReplyDeleteYou're leaving out the Girls Gone Wild part on purpose!
and then we had a pillow fight?
ReplyDeleteyou forgot about the part where we thought about Canoli's
ReplyDeleteLOL
Nooooooo! You thought about Canoli's. I was set on the fries of the french. Determination gets you the prize.
ReplyDelete