Waking up early on a weekend is a Kanye just interrupted my speech downer. Every weekend, my goal is to fulfill my Beauty Sleep obligation because Joan Rivers told me it's a necessity for natural beauty and we all know that Joan Rivers holds the key to youth. Ahem. So, waking up at 7am on a Saturday gets my 18th-century knickers in a twist. Mama likes her granny panties.
However, this Saturday was not a typical Saturday. There I am, trying to fall back asleep and cursing Octomom for having so many babies. Homegurl could use them like Pokemon trading cards. Jus sayin. It just wasn't working, so I turned on the boobtube.
Chuck Norris on a Bowflex. Hand me a cold one, Charlie Sheen, because I need to cool down. Holy lifetime infomercial. The man is like 78 yet he can pull a 200lb weight like it was Justin Bieber. Sorry Biebs, it's true. Then, for some disturbing reason, I decided to change channel. What. The. Cory. Matthews. Boy Meets World, aka, the show that made look like an asshole for 3 years of my life. That bangin crimpy hair Topanga Lawrence sported made me look like a white poodle. Why you gotta do me that way Tow-payn-ga?
Needless to say, I had ample entertainment for the next 4 hours. Off to the Golden Hoes!
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