Wait. I Have to be an Adult? What the Shit.

Today is the first day of my last semester. Cue the Titanic quartet (honestly, was I the only one rooting for the quartet to survive? Jack and Rose were sooooooo annoying. "Oh Jack, I love you. Paint my boobies." BORING.) Basically, I have been a total dildo for the past 25 years of my life and wasted my time learning stuff. After 4 years of college and 3 years of law school the only skills I have been left with are:

1.  Mediocre grammar
2. The ability to name all 9 Supreme Court Justices and the inability to name all of Santa's reindeer
3. The true meaning of the Wizard of Oz. That ho bag's shoes are supposed to be silver.
4. The discovery that mixing orange soda and bacardi is NOT like a mimosa and WILL make you a classy bitch because you will learn to NEVER mix orange soda and bacardi again. 

Soooooooo...ummmmmmm...now what? Like, do I have to go out and practice law and shit? I like learning. It puts me in my little anti-social food bubble. I love that bubble. Mmmmm, peanut-butter, nutella and marshmallow sandwich while sitting in a corner watching reruns of Hannah Montana on my laptop bubble. I would make-out with that bubble like it was a 1997 poster of Taylor Hanson. But noooooooooooooooooo. I have to go get a real job and make real money and forget about the Taylor Hanson posters I got from the latest issue of Teen Bop. Also, now I will  be judged by a whole new group of people who ask me about my ziploc addiction and rolley backpack obsession. I will probably want these people to like me too, so I will have to act normal and not look like a mentally challenged space cadet:

Exhibit A: Sometimes I exude Tina Fey cool and sometimes this happens. Okay, usually this happens. 

Yeah. I actually had that look on my face today when I had to announce the last book I read to my class. "The last book I read was Twilight." Good thing I am used to being judged for most decisions I make in life. Dear Maturity, I will find you soon.