Um, Hi...What's Up?

It's been a while. We started this nice little 5 to 10 posts a month relationship and then NOTHING. I left baby in the corner and never asked mama bear to dirty dance. Sorry. But, I'm Jack Nicholson in The Shining back. FINE. I am not completely back because I am watching the two-weeks worth of prime TV I have saved on my DVR. That means 20-hours of Gossip Girl, 90210, Glee, 30 Rock and Vampire Diaries. I am "What what in the butt" happy.

Other than telling you about the useless way I am spending my new year I would like to inform you about my life during the past two months:

1. I got me a lil sister! NO, Mindel did not pop one out. I was matched with a little sister after joining Big Brothers, Big Sisters. I am really excited and scared. I might make this child into the most awkward and nerdy middle schooler ever. Sorry universe.

2. I put a peach in a ziploc bag.
3. I put scrambled eggs in a ziploc bag. Riveting, I know.

They kind of smelled like butthole. No. They really did smell like butthole.

4. I referenced ziploc bags far too many times in 1 blog post. Sorry.
5. I got in touch with my Joots (Jew + Roots) and celebrated the shit out of Hanukkah. I got my own menorah and lit the candles all 8 days. Yes, the candles were kosher. Unfortunately, my menorah was placed next to a piggy bank...I don't know how kosher that is but I feel like I lost some God points. Sorry for reals.

 
6. Blossom. I was Blossom for Halloween and I learned a major lesson. My lesson was that men who hit on a girl dressed like an awkward and mediocre looking teen idol probably have a weird fetish and are just as creepy as the guys who hit on the slutty police women.

Eat your heart out Mayim Bialik. Slut.

7. I ran in the rain. Yep. I AM THAT INTERESTING.
8. Rachel passed the bar.
9. I would be a real ass face if I dedicated only one sentence to Rachel's passing the bar. So, here is this video:

Side note: Holy effing crap. Serena was drugged and that vagina head Juliette is blackmailing Lilly.

10. It's New Years Day and I have resolved to write at least 15 posts a month. You're welcome.