Ooopsie Poopsi

If you shy away from disgusting things or do not want to imagine me in an unflattering light (AS IF THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE???), then I suggest you do not read past this point.

So, I woke up this morning with a massive headache. Whenever this happens, I try to figure out the reason for my version of morning wood.

Me talking to myself: Hmmm, what caused this headache? Did I have a roller derby dream again? Nah. Did I get in a bar fight with the dumb chick who stole my pickle? Nah, that can't happen more than once. Hmmm, I did eat an abnormal amount of fiber yesterday. COULD I HAVE A POOPACHE???

My mind is settled that the cause of my morning headache is an overdoes of fiber. I ate 3 servings of fiber cereal, 2 fiber fruit bars, a grapefruit (surprisingly LOADED with fiber), and a fiber healthy dinner. Now, honestly, you are supposed to poop 4 times a day, but I ate enough fiber to unclog half of China's poopulation. The problem is that I have not gone yet. I have a poopache. Stop making that face. I warned you about reading past the first sentence. Now deal with it.

I just finished my morning coffee and I took an Excedrin Migraine. I won't let you know how my morning turns out, but I imagine that I will be a much happier person later in the day.